Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm fairly certain it's Wednesday and I have snot for brains

I was up for about an hour this morning before I figured out that it was still Wednesday and not Thursday.  Bah.

The past week or so, I've been going through what I thought was a major depressive episode.  As you know, I am clinically and chronically depressed.  I expect to be on depression meds for the rest of my life, and I am very okay with that.  The alternatively really and truly sucks.  At my very worst, my perception of the world had narrowed down to a tiny pinpoint of light surrounded by blackness.  I do not want to go back there, ever. 

Consequently, I pay attention to not only the things I think but the things I do.  Or don't do, as the case may be; one major warning flag of depression is losing interest in the things you typically enjoy doing.  For me, that has been reading a book or watching TV.  If I don't want to read a book or watch TV, there is usually a problem.  Eventually, I also get annoyed with the need to eat, and to shower and get dressed every day.  It's hard to explain if you've never experienced it, but mostly it's a huge feeling of BLAH and the feeling that there are endless days of BLAH stretching out before you.  When this feeling gets stronger, this is where suicidal ideology comes into play in depressives.  (I'm not suicidal though, don't worry.  I was once, and that's what sent me to a therapist so I know when those ideas are knocking about in my head.)

Anyhow, this has been my week to ten days.  It started when my leg went all wonky and I've been worried about the prospect of having to sit out Eugene.  Throw in money issues and several stressful days at work and a headache that won't quit, and functioning at all has been a struggle.  All I want to do lately is sleep.  I'd rather sleep than read or watch TV or eat or do just about anything.

But -- and this is a big but -- as I looked in the mirror this morning trying to gauge where my head was at and whether maybe I needed to call my doctor about boosting my meds, I realized that I actually felt kind of sucky before the leg thing.  I'm also not one (not anymore at least) to worry about stuff that is unresolved or that is out of my control.  I also felt sucky before the money issues.  Work is always stressful and it hadn't really been all that stressful to tell the truth.  The headache, though, the headache was there the whole time.  I've gotten up the past several mornings with the intention of running to see how the leg does and it's been the character of the headache (that pulsing behind the eyes, that you know will get worse if you exert yourself while you have it) that has gotten me back into bed, not my leg.  I've hit the snooze alarm more lately than I ever have, due to the headaches. 

And no, it's not a brain tumor.  It's a freaking sinus infection.  A bad one.  Looking back, I've wanted to read a book but I've been too tired and I went to bed instead.  Same with TV.  Same with dinner; as soon as I eat, I can go to bed.  I just didn't realize it was my sinuses because (1) I've been doing better in that regard and (2) my usual modus operandi is to ignore the damn things and they either go away or get so bad I think I'm having a depressive episode.

So I called the allergist this morning and I go in tomorrow, hopefully to leave with some big honkin' antibiotics and get myself to feeling better.  Now that have a plan, I feel a lot better mentally.  Physically, I'm still sniffling and my leg is still iffy, but I think the perky feeling will stay with me until this evening when I can revamp the remainder of my marathon training schedule.  I need to get at least one of the two 18-mile runs in before Eugene, if only for the physical conditioning part of it all.  I still have a half-marathon coming up in there as well. 

It is good to have a plan, isn't it?

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Because it's a rainy Sunday and I'm at work...

I have the urge to meme.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?  Yesterday morning, thanks to a hangover.  Or maybe those weren't butterflies.

What was your last alcoholic beverage?  A bottle of red wine, Friday night.  Never again!

Where was your first kiss with your current significant other?  I'm single.  My last first kiss was, gee, a while ago.  I need to get out more.  And kiss people while I'm doing it.

Favorite Band?  Probably Fleetwood Mac.  Music for any mood.

Do you know anyone who is engaged?  I don't think so.

What's your favorite number?  Four.

Who was the last person to make you cry?  Somebody fictional (book, movie or TV). 

Did you ever go to camp as a kid?  Eleven years at Camp Sealth.

What is one thing you've learned about life?  Never define yourself by other people.  Don't make a guy or a parent or anyone else the overriding force in any decision.  In the end, it has to be all about you.

Are you jealous of anyone?  People who are losing weight in a smart, healthy way.  I'm a little stuck right now.

What are you looking forward to?  The Eugene marathon.

Are you currently single?  Yep, and happily so.  "I'm no one's wife, but I love my life."  (and all that jazz!)  A little more, ahem, action would be nice but I do not miss the drama of a relationship.

Do you like gum?  Meh.

Have you ever dated/fooled around with a co-worker?  Hmm.  Not that I can recall.  It's usually not a good idea.

Are looks important?  Only from my personal, subjective viewpoint.  A person does become more attractive the more you get to know them. 

How does the amount of people a person has slept with affect the way you view them?  I don't really care either way.  I will get concerned if I think a friend is making poor choices in this regard, but that's not necessarily about the number of sexual partners. 

Do you believe in love?  I absolutely do.  I'd like to be in love again; it's been a while.

When was the last time you shaved your legs?  Yesterday afternoon.

What are you wearing?  Jeans and my Mt. Tabor Doggie Challenge 5K/8K t-shirt, Merrells.

Are you mad at anyone right now?  Nope.

The last 2 people to say they loved you?   No clue.  It would be either my mom, my grandma, or my dad.

Last time you had sex?  I plead the Fifth.

Last thing received in the mail?  Last thing received in the mail was a flyer for some arts performance.  Last cool thing I received in the mail was a free Shamrock t-shirt.

Do you have any famous relatives?   My great-great-etc. uncle signed the Declaration of Independence.  Only signatory to really be punished for doing it.  (Stockton, in case you're wondering.)

Have you ever had sex in a public place?  Not really.  Fooled around plenty, though.

What are you listening to?  The hair band station.  Currently The Tubes She's a Beauty.

Who was the last person other than family you saw?  The people at the sushi place last night.

What color bra/boxers are you wearing?  Nude bra, white undies, white socks.  It's a Sunday and I'm at work.

When did you last go to the mall?   Last week or the week before, with my friend S.

When was the last time you bought a pair of pants?  Hmm, I guess about four months ago.

What was your last purchase?   Sushi.

What are your plans for the day?  Put in a couple/few more hours at work and then do some grocery shopping.  Finish laundry, watch TV, hang with the pups, have dinner, go to bed.  I live on the edge, I know.

Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?  I'm allergic.  Also haven't found a scent I like (that doesn't kill me) in a long time.

Next time you'll take a shower?  Tomorrow morning.

What was the last movie you watched at home?  Twilight New Moon.

What is your mood?   Meh.  I have a headache that won't quit.

What kind of car do you drive, if any?  Hyundai Elantra.  His name is Zippy.

Have you ever been to Virginia?   Nope.  I hear it's for lovers, though.

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Day 76, and I will never ever drink again.

Totally off from running this weekend.  I think my leg could handle it (I hope my leg could handle it), but I haven't felt well all weekend.  I'm guessing it has to do with the bottle of wine I polished off solo after the two beers I had with friends at happy hour.  I think with all the Twilight stuff going on, I temporarily forgot that I'm not in my 20s any more.  Funny how we're all desperate to be able to drink (legally, at least) and then after a few years it's kind of meh. 

I watched both Twilight movies and they were okay.  There was a part in the middle of the first one where I don't think it was supposed to be so funny.  The second movie was done better, although it cut out a lot of the story.  But it had hot, shirtless men so there was that.  Bella wasn't quite as annoying as I thought she'd be.  I really liked the casting for the character of Alice, but Jasper was too geeky looking.  Peter Facinelli (Carlisle) should never be blond.  They should've just made him a brunette.  It wasn't as bad as a blond Tom Cruise, but it was close. 

Okay, enough of that.  I've got to put in some hours at work so I don't lose my mind for the rest of the week.  I swear I'm still hungover.  Reminds me of in college when my friends took me out the night before to celebrate my new job and I had Absolut for the first time.  The next day was the longest of my life; I thought I might burst into flames at any minute. 

I am never drinking again.

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Friday, March 26, 2010

Day 75: Move along, nothing to see here

More or less the same old thing.  Leg continues to improve, but still a few twinges.  I think wrapping it at night has helped a lot.  The plan is still to aim for at least eight miles on Sunday, hopefully more.  Looking at the weather forecast, I'm tempted to switch my run to Saturday but I think I need the extra rest day.  If it's raining I can always go run at the gym.  Not so far to limp home if the leg wigs out again too.  Plus there is the steam room.  I should plan to parbroil myself after my run.

I had a nice surprise waiting for me at home yesterday.  No, not Carlos the Hot Naked Pool Boy, Waiting to Cater to My Every Whim.  Do you think I would be at work if he had been?   Heck, I wouldn't even be dressed.  Anyhow.  I knew I would have my latest Netflix shipment (Midsomer Murders, yay!) but I didn't expect to have a big package stuffed in my mailbox (and number one among things that sound dirty but aren't....).  I didn't remember ordering anything so I thought maybe my mom had sent me something for easter.  Then I saw that the return address was PDQ, the Shamrock Run organizer folks.  Seemed awful big for just my finisher's medal, though.  And, no medal.  But they did send me, entirely for free, one of the long sleeved cotton Shamrock shirts.  Which are extremely nice, albeit kind of huge; the shirt hangs down mid-thigh.  Not sure if a size smaller would fit my gigantic breastage, though; the top part isn't all that loose across the chest.  Just my luck to have size huge boobs on a size medium torso. 

I still better get the finisher's medal though. 

Also found out last night that Showtime is having a free preview weekend, which means I finally get to see Twilight, and for free.  I just never got around to seeing it in the theatre.  It just wasn't one of those "must see now" movies.  The books were written so-so, the plots were predictable and bordering on not very good -- particularly in the final book, the characters were flat.  And I really don't like Kristen Stewart.  But then I'm not terribly fond of Bella either.  All said, I did like the books.  I like to be entertained when I read, so most of the stuff I read is light and fluffy anyhow.  I am looking forward to seeing the movie; I'll probably watch New Moon right after.   They also have season one and the season two premiere of the United States of Tara on, so I'll watch those as well.  A thoroughly couch potato weekend!

I've got to get ready for happy hour with the running peeps.  Here's to your weekend :)

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Day 74 and I no longer limp like cooked spaghetti

Hmm, I just couldn't get that title to come out right.  Maybe I'm just hungry.  For spaghetti!

My absolutely amazing fantastic hair stylist Brian is now a follower.  Hi Brian!!  Seriously, people, if you live in the CilleyLand area, have Brian cut your hair.  Now.  I'll wait.  He is absolutely amazing and fantastic for all types of hair.  Brian at Polaris for Hair, conveniently located next to the downtown library at 10th and Taylor, he's in the book.  And not only is he an amazing stylist, he gives great neck rubs, hugs, and smootchies!

Just a quick note here to sing Brian's praises and let you all know that knock on wood my leg is not as sore as yesterday.  I still don't want to run any stairs, or really even walk up any stairs, and I'm definitely not running.  But walking only hurts maybe 2% of the time instead of 98% of the time like yesterday.  My plan is to continue RICEing it tomorrow and Saturday and then if it feels good I'll aim for at least eight miles on Sunday with the hope of pushing that to ten miles.  My mom just booked our hotel for Eugene last night, so I'm begging my leg to just hold out until after the marathon.  Then it can fall off if it wants to, or get put into a cast, I won't care.  After the marathon, I may never want to run again anyways.  So neener to you, Mr. Leg.

With that, I am off for home and damp, smelly dogs.  Yay!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Day 73: Help me, Google Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!

First, welcome to the new followers!  Thanks for playing!

Second, stupid stupid leg ouchie ouchie ow.  Good news, it's no worse than yesterday.  Bad news, it's not really any better either.  Good news, I don't think it's Achilles tendonitis (or tendinopathy, as apparently it is now deemed).  Bad news, I think it may be peroneal tendinopathy.  This is where my Dr. Google skills come in handy.  Walk with me.

With acute tendonitis, you have:
  • Gradual onset of pain over a period of days.  Nope!
  • Pain at the onset of exercise which fades as the exercise progresses.  Nope!
  • Pain eases with rest.  Nope!
  • Tenderness on palpation.  Nope!

With chronic tendonitis, you have:
  • Gradual onset of pain over a period of weeks, or even months.   Nope!
  • Pain with all exercise, which is constant throughout.  Eh, sort of, although I haven't tried anything other than walking or running.
  • Pain in the tendon when walking especially up hill or up stairs.  Yes.
  • Pain and stiffness in the Achilles tendon especially in the morning or after rest.  Not really, it's fairly constant.
  • There may be nodules or lumps in the achilles tendon, particularly 2-4cm above the heel.  Nope!
  • Tenderness on palpation.  Nope!
  • Swelling or thickening over the Achilles tendon.  Not really.
  • There may be redness over the skin.  Nope!
  • You can sometimes feel a creaking when you press your fingers into the tendon and move the ankle.   Nope!  Kind of creepy though if I did. 

 Dr. Google concludes that this diagnosis isn't a very good fit, particularly since I have zero tenderness on palpation, meaning when I give my achilles a good feel it doesn't hurt.  Let's look at peroneal tendinopathy instead, which thankfully has nothing to do with your peritoneum: 
  • Pain and swellilng on the outside of the ankle or heel.   Yes!
  • Pain is worse during activity and gets better with rest.   Yes!
  • Pain when pressing in on the peroneal tendons.   Yes!
  • Pain when the foot is passively inverted (stretching the peroneal muscles) and with resisted eversion.   Yes!
  • Calf muscles may be tight.  Always!

 In case you're wondering (and I know you are), the peroneal tendon runs behind the lateral malleolus (the bony bit on the outside of the ankle). The peroneus longus tendon runs around the back of the lateral malleolus and under the foot to attach at the outside of the first metatarsal and cuniform bones. The peroneus brevis passes around the back of the lateral malleolus and attaches to the outside of the foot on the base of the 5th metatarsal. The muscles act to plantar flex the foot (point foot downwards) and evert the foot.

"Evert" may be my new favorite word.

Here is that above explanation of the peroneal tendon fits me.  The pain is at the outside of the bony bit on my ankle, and that's where the slight swelling is.  How they describe the peroneus brevis going around and hooking to the foot at the base of your pinky toe?  That's precisely the spot I started having periodic localized pain several weeks ago.  It often feels like the bones across the top of my foot are being stretched apart, or are too tightly bound together.  Weird, huh?  It's also the peroneus longus muscle (basically, part of your calf) where I had the problem last Sunday, up at the top.  Right now the only spot at which I feel any discomfort on palpation is at the base of my calf muscle, where it attaches to the achilles tendon. 

Isn't Latin cool?  Don't running injuries suck?  I'm going to be rather upset if I'm knocked out of training at 11 weeks. 

Treatment is rest (check), NSAIDs (check), calf stretching (sort of check, I have to go easy), and massage (where is Carlos the Pool Boy when I need him?).   Pretty easy, except that rest means no running in this case.  Even if I walk too quickly right now, I have pain.  Actually I have pain when I'm not even moving the leg.

I'm going to go cry now. 
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Day 72, where the last half-mile is a pain

My alarm went off at o'dark thirty this morning, and in not-so-short order I decided to skip my run.  Then five minutes later I caved in, got up and went.  I knew I needed to find out how my knee was.  And the knee was great!  Hit that great stride, keeping up a great pace, nothing really hurting at all... until the last half-mile when my Achilles went "Hey!  I'm here!"  Bad enough that I had to stop running and start walking.  A few steps, it felt okay, I ran a little more and then "Hey!  Still here!"  Stop.  Walk.  Start to run again.  Repeat.  So now I've got a sore Achilles and a slightly swollen lower leg.  I can sort of Rest it here at work, can't really Ice or Elevate it comfortably, so I'm Compressing the hell out of it.  Luckily I have slippers stashed in my office because my foot won't fit into even my flip flops with the ace bandage on. 

And I almost ran my five miles in under one hour.   Stupid leg.

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Monday, March 22, 2010

Day 71 and a nice, quiet, dull sort of day.

Boss is out of town for a few days and a former coworker came in to help out with the gigantic mounds of filing that have stacked up, so it's been a nice, quiet, dull sort of day here in CilleyLand.  Sadly, the sunshine has gone away and the clouds are moving in, but I guess you can't have everything!

My knees is feeling 110% better today.  Still a smidge stiff and I don't want to run stairs any time soon, otherwise knock on wood it will be fine for tomorrow's run.  With only six weeks or so until Eugene, I need to stick to the training program now more than ever so my ancient, decrepit body had just better get with the program!

I stepped on the scale for fun this morning, and after I cussed it out I let it go.  The result that is.  Damn scale won't leave no matter how many times I take it out to the woods in the middle of nowhere.  I don't know where it's getting the bread crumbs, I really don't.  I didn't like the number on the scale, but I'm still having a turkey burger with tater tots for dinner.  Neener.

Since I muffed my knee yesterday, of course I decided it was time to sign up for a few races in April.  I'm going to fit in the Spring Burst 5K for the day before the Race for the Roses 1/2 marathon, and then the Earth Day Advantage 5K for the weekend before Eugene.  These are some of the approved races for the running league I belong to. 

I was shining up my home treadmill in preparation for listing it for sale (anyone in the CilleyLand area want a great 2.5hp mid-range treadmill, let me know -- perfect for the walker or 'soft' jogger in your life) and since the track was down (it folds up to save space!  has a heart-rate monitor and pre-programmed workouts with a 0-12% incline!) I took the opportunity to hang a bunch of race bibs; I hadn't put them up since Halloween.  Now with these upcoming races, I definitely need to find a new wall, or maybe put them into a scrapbook.  Anyone have any suggestions or links to suggestions of what to do with race bibs?  I think someone makes blankets out of them, I don't want to do that but I'd like to do something.  Maybe I should just google it.

Break time over!  Enjoy your day!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Week 10 wrap up.... and weak knee wrap up

As you can see from my DailyMile sidebar, I had a fabulous run today.... until mile 12 when my knee started to swell.  By mile 13, I could only run a few steps at a time, and by mile 14.5 I couldn't even do that anymore.  I couldn't even manage the last 200 meters; once I got to the car, I was done.  Annoying!  I had actually been doing really well until then, nice even pace, right around 12 minutes per mile, on track to finish in 3:30.  But nope!  Took me forever to walk that last mile; it's hard to walk when your knee doesn't want to bend anymore.  I was trying not to limp so as not to cause any other problems, and I thought I was doing pretty well until my hamstring started to cramp in sympathy.  Luckily it was the same leg; I mean, if your knee won't bend and your hamstring is going to cramp it would really suck to have the latter on the other leg.  I RICEd my leg for the rest of the day and while it is still stiff I can walk mostly pain-free. 

I did end up cutting back my miles for Week 10 since Week 9's miles were so low.  Here's how Week 10 ended up:

Mon/Day 64 - Rest.  Tough, but I got the job done.

Tue/Day 65 - 5 miles.  Skipped this one.  Felt like I needed to practice my rest days some more.

Wed/Day 66 - Rest.  Yep!

Thu/Day 67 - 8 miles.  I had a fabulous run.  Logged 8.01 miles at a good pace.

Fri/Day 68 - 5 miles.  Skipped this one too.  Wish I hadn't, but I was worried I'd have a crappy run after the great run the day before.  Silly, eh?

Sat/Day 69 - Rest.  I had a thoroughly leisurely day and it was great.  The most I did was mow my lawn.

Sun/Day 70 - 16 miles.  Needed more water and maybe a little more fuel and, oh yeah, a functioning right leg.  Logged 15.89 miles.

Question for the readers about fuel during long runs:  do you ever eat something more solid than Gu or shot bloks?  I'm finding I get nauseous around the third fuel up -- about 1:30 into my runs -- from the straight sugar.  I'm thinking I want to try a Clif bar or some other power bar at 1:30.  That's where my energy starts to gradually slow as well, and I expect I need more fuel but the idea of more Gu and even more gatorade after that point makes me more nauseous.  It was a little better during the Shamrock when I was able to drink about 8oz+ of plain water at that point.  Today, however, none of the water fountains on the trail had the water turned on yet.  I was ready to dive into the creek and risk intestinal parasites. 

Week 11 is the same schedule as Week 10.  If my knee cooperates, I plan to be fully on plan for this week.   Six more weeks until Eugene!  At least they'll have water.

Well, I've got plans to hook up with some Tylenol PM and a fabulous mattress.  Here's looking to a great week!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Friday, March 19, 2010

Day 67 & 68 and death becomes her.

I had an amazing, fabulous, fantastic run yesterday.  Eight miles before work, a really good pace that reflects the fact that except for two quick breaks (call of nature -- eight miles will shake things loose -- and then some Gu) I ran the whole thing.  The new shoes are so great.  I wore my retired shoes Wednesday evening to take the pups for a walk and the soles felt so flat and thin in comparison.

Since I had such a great run yesterday, of course I skipped my run this morning.  It was another night of poor sleep and bizarre dreams, and when I woke up for the gym I had a mild sore throat and a feeling like something was sitting on my chest.  Unfortunately, nothing was sitting on my chest; if it had been, I would have just knocked it off, duh.  Instead I have a bit of gurgling and wheezing when I take deep breaths, and now the bronchial spasms have started when I breathe regularly.  I'm guessing the sore throat is from post-nasal drip.  I hate allergy season.  Perhaps soon I will be hacking up a lung.

Much like my paternal great-grandfather, Felix.  (What a segue, eh?)   I can be kind of morbid sometimes.  Or at least that's some people tell me.  I prefer to think that I just am okay with the whole death thing.  Not that I want to experience it any time soon, but we all die, circle of life, yadda yadda yadda.  Anyhow -- and bear with me, this will connect -- every once in a while I hop on Google and try to find out something about old Felix.  He was Finnish.  He was also named in my great-grandmother Julia's divorce.  I love that.  It explains that side of my family so succinctly. 

I've seen some pictures of Julia, probably in her 40s or early 50s at that time, and while she's attractive she wasn't exactly a hot tamale.  She has some pretty spectacular boobies though (I take after that side of the family all around), and maybe Felix was a breast man.  She had the kind of figure where she probably wished she'd been born in the Gibson girl rather than the flapper era.  About the divorce, Julia was first married to another Finn named Fritz, with whom she had three or four kids.  The family story is that Fritz and Felix were cousins, and then Julia divorced Fritz and married Felix and went on to have three or four more kids.  Consequently, Julia's children were not only half-siblings but something like second cousins as well.

The fun part here is that one of the Fritz/Julia kids, Ernie, and one of the Felix/Julia kids, Roy, married sisters -- my aunt Shirley and my grandmother.  Yes, the family tree does not branch here so much as bulge.  They all didn't live too far apart in Seattle, and my dad tells me that he remembers going over to play with his cousins and old Fritz would be there, sitting silent in a corner and glaring at the Felix/Julia grandkids.  Heh.

Getting back to the main part of the story, Felix is somewhat of a mystery beyond what I've just related above.  At least as far as anyone in the family will tell me, and since we're Finnish everyone stopped talking to everyone else years ago due to some grudge or another.  So I try to find more about Felix other than he slept with his cousin's wife.  All I've been able to find is a recitation of a death certificate that I believe to be his.  It says he died of "massive hemoptysis," which apparently involves some sort of lung disease.  Perhaps I also inherited Felix's respiratory system, I have no idea. 

More to the point, I like to browse the website on which I found this listing.  Because I am morbid and a little bored.  It's also very interesting, though.  This particular link goes to death certificates of Finns in King County, Washington, but on the main page there are lots of other sites listing dead people.  I like to see the patterns in the deaths (like deaths in childbirth) or read between the lines in the causes of death.  Or when there is a quote by the doctor saying we really don't know. 

For example, a 17 year old girl who died of "menstrual hemorrhage" in 1907.  It says she's a single student, but did she miscarry?  Botched abortion?  Who knows.  There is the two week old baby whose cause of death is acute indigestion; "mother was ill and milk did not agree with child."  Another baby was ten months old with acute indigestion.  I wonder if these were food allergies?   One woman died from "purpural peritonitis, willful neglect to call medical aid."  "Purpural", which is misspelled, relates to childbirth.  She was married; who willfully neglected to call the doctor?   If you look through the years, the Kangas children did not have good luck; many died shortly after birth or while still in childhood.  Another baby (not a Kangas) died from "hemorrhage of navel."  Yikes.

A lot of Finns worked in the mines, so there are several accidental deaths from explosions, being crushed by landslides.  One entry attributes death to the Lawson Mine explosion, like we'll all know what that means forever.  And apparently we will; a quick search shows that this was the second Lawson Mine to explode.  The first was in 1902 and killed 11 men; the second was this one in 1910 and killed 16 people.  Many were crushed by railway cars or hit by automobiles, even in 1908 or so.   Two guys were crushed by the Milwaukee train on the same day. 

Lots of suicides too; we Finns are not cheery people.  One guy cut his own throat with a razor.  Or did he?   One man stabbed himself in the heart.  Or did he?  One guy fell from the third floor of an apartment building; it doesn't say suicide, nor does it say if it was his own apartment building.  A young maid was murdered when someone slit her throat.  Or did they?

And then there are ones that just don't make sense, or maybe make too much sense.  How about "traumatic meningitis due to premature death?"  Huh?  "Senile gangrene"?  Oops, didn't notice my leg had fallen off there.   Here's one I don't like:  a young married woman who died from septicemia with a bruised breast after running into a door.  Really?   I'd be looking at the husband for that.   Here's another one, about a young boy not quite a year old:  "child was dead when I reached house, but from description and condition of twin brother, am confident it died of ptomain due perhaps to fermentation of milk; although vomiting and diarrhea, mother still persisted in making it drink milk."  Poor little guy.  A two year old girl died from "traumatic meningitis; accidentally fell off porch."  Uh huh.

I do like the one with the man who died from "homicide by fire arms, unjustifiable."  It goes on to state his occupation as "Gambler."   Another guy died from "delerium tremens (2 weeks debauch)."  Must have been a hell of a party. 

There's a ton more, take a look for yourself.  It's easy to get hooked on imagining these people's lives.  Go ahead, I dare you!  And let me know if you run across Felix; I can't believe he just fell out of the sky.  Although maybe he did.  Or did he?

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 66 and the stellar jay smack down

There are about a dozen stellar jays outside my office window this morning and they have been RAWK!ing at each other for nearly three hours.  They've been mostly out of eye -- but not ear, dammit -- shot, but every once in a while you see one fly to another tree, followed by another and then the smack down is on!  There must be a hot stellar jay chiquita somewhere close by and they're fighting for the right to preen her tailfeathers or something.  And driving me crazy!

In case you're wondering what the little bastards look like...

I didn't get to bed early like I had planned.  I really need to pay bills, which first meant sorting through about six weeks of junk mail.  Then there was the actual bill paying, which was depressing.  I thought doing my taxes would cheer me up (I'm odd that way), but I owe both federal and state this year and that made me even more depressed.  I need to manage some serious overtime in the next week or two.  Yay.

At least I slept much better last night, thanks to a comatose dog who didn't stir all night, but still feel like I've gone ten rounds with, well a stellar jay maybe.  I suspect my sinuses are to blame.  Did you know that when you are stuffed up, you don't get enough oxygen as you sleep so that your sleep is poor, you're groggy when you wake up, etc.?   Then it eventually causes insomnia.  Weird, eh? 

All this means I did not get to the gym like I thought I might.  Definitely sticking with the schedule for tomorrow (knock on wood).  I am also not going to have a fish stick frenzy like last night.  Turkey burgers are on the menu instead.

What a beautiful day here in CilleyLand!  I hope you have blue skies too wherever you are.

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Day 65: Turn that frown upside down! Impale a bunny on a stick! Whatever makes YOU happy, baybee!

In case you're wondering, I wouldn't really impale a bunny on a stick.  I love bunnies.  Even though they are not-so-secretly plotting to take over the world and make us all their bunny slaves.

Hello to new follower Laura!  Welcome!  I will be checking out your blog shortly, as soon as I get over my impulses to do things such as impale bunnies on sticks.  Or my boss.  Interchangeable there, really.

I've decided I will be in a good mood today.  I have to constantly remind myself, and it's only 9:30 in the morning, but it should be worth it.  I have a quote by Cynthia Nixon on my office wall.  It says "Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy."  I don't know who Cynthia Nixon is, but I like her thinking. 

I didn't make it to the gym this morning.  I know, big surprise.  I had a really crappy night, sleep-wise.  First, I was so tired I couldn't sleep.  Then I was cold and could not get warm.  Normally under those circumstances I would have taken something to help me sleep, but I didn't last night because of the "only use Ambien when you can devote a full eight hours to sleep" and they're not kidding.  Tylenol PM or Advil PM, of course, will leave you feeling like you're a drunken sailor on a three day pass, so that was out.  I finally fell asleep, then Cute But Stupid dog woke me up at least three times to go outside ("I have to pee, Mom.  I'll just sit here and breathe heavily like an obscene phone caller until you let me out.").   In between all of that, I had these weird dreams, including ones with skittery things coming out of nowhere where you wake up feeling like you've seen something maybe you shouldn't know exists.  I do remember having a conversion with someone in my dream about how the university offered a degree in "Setter studies" and I thought that was amusing when I woke up. 

The last time CBS got me up was about 4:20 a.m.  The alarm starts going off at 5:00 a.m. for the gym.  I didn't even get to fall back asleep before then, and decided I was the wrong kind of sore and tired to run.  I realized later, as I was trying to drag myself out of bed to go to work (I am so going to bed super-early tonight), that I should have planned to skip today's run from the start.  I only ran about 15 miles last week, so doubling that for this week wouldn't be such a good idea.  I'm thinking maybe I'll do the medium run tomorrow, take Thursday off, then do the short run on Friday, saving the rest for the Sunday long run.   Now I don't have to feel guilty about this morning!

I'm back!  Not that you noticed; you're reading this in an unbroken stream of consciousness.  But my day got a little bit crazy and now I have two seconds to take a breather and finish this.  You'll be happy to know I haven't impaled anyone on a stick.  Yet.

You may recall I posted a short time or so ago that I was focusing solely on marathon training and not weight loss.  I find it amusing that I tend to forget that lately.  It's usually on a Monday morning, when I'm catching up on all the weight loss blogs to which I subscribe.  I get all gung ho to clean up my diet, manage my calories, yadda yadda yadda.  Then I realize that I forgot that for now, I can EAT.  Although I did not forget last night when I went grocery shopping, hungry.  Very, very hungry.  And I bought all kinds of interesting stuff.  Let's just say fish sticks are involved.  And tartar sauce. 

Anyhow, I've been thinking about making June 1 or July 1 my target weight loss back-on-track date.  June 1 has much better symmetry, particularly since the marathon is May 2, but we have a huge work deadline on July 1 and I'm anticipating all will go crazy in the head for that.  Makes it hard to be a responsible eater when you can't even breathe.  But I'll worry about all of this later.  For now, I can eat.  I even bought my first -- and maybe only -- Cadbury caramel eggs last night.  I bought more than one, less than five.  If they last through Easter, that will be all I'll have.  I remember when I used to eat 50 or so during the Easter season.  I also weighed less during those times.  Go figure!

Break time is over.  Hope your day is stick-free too!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Monday, March 15, 2010

Race report: Shamrock 15K

I've read several race reports from Shamrock, and thought I'd do my own because it seems I have a different perspective on races than most.  Maybe it's because it's not like I'm going to place or anything, or because of the number of races I've done (getting close to 30 now). 

I don't get nervous the night before a race.  So long as I confirm the start time, know what time I need to get up and leave the house and where I need to be, I'm good.  I sleep just fine after that, and here's why:  Ambien. 

Before I went to bed, I confirmed the start time for the 15K and so I knew when I needed to get up, etc.  Before I fell asleep, I realized I didn't remember where the race's start was.  All I remembered from last year's Shamrock was pouring rain and a million people and somewhere on the waterfront.  I couldn't get up to go check where the start was at that point, lest the Ambien kick in while I'm, say, on the stairs.  That stuff is, I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake, hey it's morning.  You don't get up once you take it.  I knew it would only take a second to check the race start online so I didn't sweat it.

Soon the alarm is going off.  For some reason, I decide I'm not in a hurry.  I mean, my pre-race routine is basically just get dressed, eat and drink a little in the car on the way there, and then go race, but still.  I don't lay out my stuff the night before.  I have an idea of what I'll wear depending on how the weather is when I get up, but that is the extent of it.  I don't get my fuel belt together.  In fact, I usually don't decide if I will be taking a fuel belt.  So I have no idea why I don't think I need to get up right away.    Consequently, I was already running late when I got up. 

In keeping with the "race on the fly" attitude, I also don't pin my bib on before I get out of the car at the race.  I didn't even have safety pins set out; I figured I had enough in the car by now.  I had to mix up some powerade that morning, fill my Nathan bottles.  I pulled some cash and my ID, stuff that and my phone and some shot bloks and Gu into my fuel belt and called it good.  My inhaler and chapstick went into my pocket.  A granola bar (100 calorie) completed the ensemble.   Late late late.

However, I wouldn't have been quite so late if it wasn't for all of the blocked streets downtown.  Thankfully I hadn't tried to take Barbur all the way in, but I did get caught in the Naito re-routing, such that I had to go over the Hawthorne and loop back over to the Morrison to get west of Naito.  I finally found a parking garage that was open, and dashed out of my car. 

The 5Kers were well into their race by now, and I couldn't cross through them.  I ended up on the west side of Naito, dodging through all the spectators, trying to figure out how to get to the other side.  I was not alone; there were a lot of 15Kers with me, also trying to get through.  Eventually we made it past the start and finish lines and climbed over a barrier to finally get close enough to the corrals.  I realized at some point in there that I had forgotten to leave my glasses in the car; I never run with them on. 

The lost 15Kers and I had ended up at the very beginning of the race pack.  It wasn't too tightly smooshed with bodies, however, and I would have started in the first wave (staying way to the side since they'd all pass me right off the bat) but my iPod wouldn't connect.  So I scrunched out of the way of the runners until I could reset Chip.  I got him going in time to go with the second wave, and again since it wasn't all packed up I decided just to go.  Reading the other race reports, it sounds like it was packed up in the back of the corral; I would have tried to move farther back out of the way of the speedy people but there were just too many people. 

I felt well rested and had a good start.  Then we started to climb towards Terwilliger.  I had to stop and walk a few paces here and there just to catch my breath; if I try to pace people early on, I start out too fast and pay for it later.  I was doing well with pace but I just hadn't warmed up enough yet for my breathing to have settled.  People were passing me the entire time but we were still spaced out fairly well and I stay to the side as it.  (It doesn't bother me to be passed, except at the very end of a race.) 

In short order, I got used to the eternal uphill climb and mostly didn't notice it anymore.  I walked very little in this race after the first 1.5 miles.  It was warmer away from the waterfront, so once I ditched my jacket sleeves I was very comfortable.  The new shoes were fantastic; much better shock absorption on the downhill in particular. 

They ran out of cups at the second and third water stops.  Being as I am usually at the very end of any race, I hate when they run out of supplies by the time I get there.  They also were out of finishers' medallions, although it sounds like they just ran out.  But sheesh, they know how many racers are registered.  They're supposed to know I didn't get a medallion (based on finishing times and when they ran out, I was told) and mail me one.  At least they still had chowder and beer; I skipped the beer since I didn't want to fall on my lips shortly thereafter.   I did the rounds of the park but never did spot anyone I know.  Next time, we need a plan.    I also never found any food other than chowder; I was dying for a bagel. 

Since it was freezing on the waterfront, I decided to head home.  Somewhere around mile 7, I'd gotten so into the groove I had forgotten that I was running.  I was still running on autopilot, but was thinking about this and that and admiring the view -- both St. Helens and Hood were out and beautiful as we came down Barbur.  Anyhow, as part of that I suddenly realized that.... I wasn't entirely certain I remembered where I'd parked my car.  I had an idea of where I thought I'd parked so I headed that way, and came across another woman who was also looking for her car.  We chatted about the race as we walked and then she headed more west than where I was going.  Turns out I did remember where I parked, but only because I had intentionally parked in a garage with which I was familiar, the one I usually park in for the ballet.  That's the only way I found it.  Then I had to actually find my car in the garage, trying to remember if I had gone up the stairs or down the stairs on my way out.  I had stumbled upon Chipotle while looking for the car and picked up lunch so I headed home to eat and then stretch out for several hours. 

All in all, a great race.  My official time was 2:08:19, which was faster than double my 5-miler from last weekend so I'm happy with what I did yesterday.  It also is a good indicator, I think, of how the marathon will go.  Next up I'll be running a 5K race the day before the Race for the Roses half marathon.  Here's hoping the half goes just as well!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Heading into Week 10 and how Cilley got her groove back

I took several days off from training this week and as today's 15K went pretty well I think the rest did some good.  I was hoping to finish in 2:15, and I finished around 2:08.  I had hoped to meet up with friends before or after the race, but either no one met up or maybe I missed the memo.  Oh well.  I know I'm fabulous, and I'm fine on my own.  It's just that some times it's nice to not be on your own.

Here's how Week 9 went:

Mon/Day 57 - Rest.  Done.

Tue/Day 58 - 4 miles.  Done.  Logged 4.01 miles.

Wed/Day 59 - Rest.  Done to the extreme.  My hip and back went out so I took Wednesday and Thursday off work to be flat on my back for a while.

Thu/Day 60 - 7 miles. Gack! I should be able to finish this in about 85 minutes; we'll see.  Nope.  Still flat on my back.

Fri/Day 61 - 4 miles.  Nope.  Low back still very sore.

Sat/Day 62 - Rest.  Done.  I thought about running, but I went to work instead.

Sun/Day 63 - 16 miles. This will be another split run, with the 15K Shamrock followed by the balance somewhere.   Did the Shamrock and logged 10.14 miles per my iPod.  Felt great for that -- I even hit that point where I forgot I was running, I got so into the zone -- so I decided not to ruin my high with more miles. 

Next week I will work to be back on track with my training.  Mentally I'm having a hard time with the longer mileage during the week; worried I won't get finished in time.  I just need to get over it -- if I'm late to work, I'm late to work.  And this weekend will be an uninterrupted long run, which I am masochistically looking forward to. 

Here's Week 10's schedule:

Mon/Day 64 - Rest.
Tue/Day 65 - 5 miles.
Wed/Day 66 - Rest.
Thu/Day 67 - 8 miles.
Fri/Day 68 - 5 miles.
Sat/Day 69 - Rest.
Sun/Day 70 - 16 miles.
 
I am off to get in some puppy loving, which from their perspective probably involves me feeding them.  I hope everyone who ran Shamrock had as great a race as I did.  Here's wishing you a wonderful week as well.
 
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Day 58 and trying easier.

It's a little eerie when I blog out all my feelings about how hard marathon training is and that I am vowing to try harder, to do this OR ELSE -- and then that evening I pick up the Whitsett book only to find the entire chapter for that week addresses EXACTLY what I'm going through, and introduces the concept of trying easier. 

Trying easier is basically to let up on yourself, to find the fun in training again and if it's not there, if maybe this marathon isn't the one you are meant to do, that's okay.  You need to not be so rigid that you break before you can bend.

All of which is difficult to remember at o'dark thirty, particularly when you're fairly certain your femur is a tad out of its socket.  I didn't run this morning, but I will after work, and I'm going to the chiropractor tomorrow afternoon to see about this hip problem.  And then I'm just going to take each day as it comes.  Can I do this marathon even if I don't follow the training program to the letter?  I think so, physically.  It's mentally that I am having problems -- where everyone has problems, really.  I think I will go back through the Whitsett book and refresh myself on the mental teachings it has to offer. 

I got my official five miler results this morning:  1:10:41.  I noticed as I was updating the sidebar that that is just about a minute slower than the Fanconi Anemia 8K, so considering the 8K is just a smidge less distance I give myself a "good job!" overall.  Especially remembering the hill of despair.  Oh, and I pulled a photo from the race:



Clearly, I had an itch.  Actually, I spotted the photog a fraction of a second later (she was up in a tree -- sneaky!), and realized there'd be a goofy pic of me scratching my head.  Oh well.  You can just barely see the neon pink in my shoes -- there were some other photos of me where it's sunnier and they are just glowing.  I absolutely love that Pearl Izumi jacket; the sleeves zip off, which I did about three minutes after this photo was taken when we got out of the woods and into the sun. 

Oh, and behind me in the white t-shirt, in the distance -- lady with a cane!  Who I found out this morning is 69.  69!  69 and she finished ten seconds behind me.  I really need to work on my mental training. 

I also snagged this photo for my mom:



I don't know him, but he looks A LOT like my stepdad.  Who needs to start exercising, particularly since he shattered his ankle a couple of years ago and he needs to rehab it.  I told her to pass it along to my stepdad, give him something to aim for.  I looked up this guy's age today, he's about 12 years younger than my stepdad but still.  He could do it. 

That's all I've got for now.  Have a great Tuesday!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Monday, March 8, 2010

Day 57 and the second half of marathon training, PLUS the return of the lady with the cane!

Deep down, I think I thought this would be easy.  Well, maybe not easy, but not incredibly hard.  More than doable, I mean.  But you know what?

Marathon training is fucking HARD. 

Amazing that it's taken me eight weeks to truly reach that conclusion, isn't it?  Feel free to smack me around, like the doofus I am. 

It was another LONG long run yesterday.  Thinking about stopping the insanity of training.  But now I can't quit.  My mom is definitely coming down for the marathon, and while she is kinda short she is also scrappy.  She definitely could still thump my ass if she wanted to. 

So I keep going.  Very slowly, but I keep going.  I may really die trying.

Sunday I had to split up my long run again, since I had to do the five mile race first.  I say "had to do" because I have realized that I really, really do not like splitting up my runs.  It sounded ideal at the time but mentally, it does not mean good things for either part of my run.  Like how my second half yesterday averaged 17 minute miles.  Because I walked almost the entire eight-plus miles.

Let me back up.  First of all, the new shoes are working out great.  I decided to make the race their inaugural run.  I threw my old shoes into the car, so that if I needed them for the second part of my long run I could change shoes (I ended up doing all my Sunday miles in the new shoes, with no real problems).  I had my goal of finishing the five miler in 1:10, which I did:  1:10:54 according to my Nike+, I think about ten seconds under than according to the race results (official results aren't posted yet).  I was happy about that.  Especially since....  Lady with the cane was back! 

Right after I got to the race course, I joined the porta-potty line, like you do.  I'd been in line for about five seconds, admiring my new shoes, when BAM!  A cane slams into the ground, next to my pretty shoes.  I'm really not making this up.  It would have been like a gauntlet, except that she didn't do it on purpose; she just had to quickly fix her shoe.  But for me, it was on.  I had to beat the lady with the cane.  (Whose name is Carol, I learned.  I really hope she's not doing Eugene.)

The Red Lizard 5-Miler course is deceptively not easy.  It seems like it should be, as more or less an out and back, but a lot of it involves a slow but steady upwards grade, plus there is the hill of death at roughly 3.3 miles.  I've never seen anyone really run up this hill, probably because all of the actual running people are long gone but the time I get there.  I felt like crawling up this hill this time.  And since I was going so slow, I was in a perfect position to notice... the squished little lizard in the middle of the hill.  A real lizard, flat as a pancake, and in the Red Lizard logo position.  That gave me the energy to get up the rest of the hill, lest I end up like the lizard. 

Lady with the cane caught up with me right after that, so I had to spend the rest of the race keeping myself ahead of her shuffle-shuffle-thump.  I know, I'm so sad.  But it's good to have goals, right?

For the rest of my long run, I took the Ambitious One's advice and decided to go around Oswego Lake.  It was supposed to be 6.8 miles.  It isn't.  Which was okay, since I was aiming for nine miles.  But it was just one more thing to grumble about during this part of the run.  And my brain and body found lots to grumble about. 

When I split up my runs, I spend the first half saying I should go slow since I still need to do X miles afterwards.  Then I spend the second half saying no wonder I'm slow since I already did Y miles, so why speed up?   I also don't like running in heavy traffic, which most of this lake path had (luckily only a few spots where I had to worry seriously about being hit), plus I spent the majority of the time not lost but thinking I wasn't where I thought I was.  This is what happens when part of your map is to scale and the other part not so much.  I also wasn't fueling enough and by that time I needed something solid other than Gu or Powerade, except that I felt nauseous from the peanut butter and bread I'd had earlier.  So I felt sorry for myself, and I walked.  8.15 miles in 2:18:49.  I should have been much closer to two hours.  Did I mention that a good chunk of the south shore of Oswego Lake is all uphill?  But I still should have been at least ten to twelve minutes faster overall. 

Oh well, Week 8 is now officially over and I will be happy, shiny, and perky for Week 9.  I can do this, and I will do this.  I am a marathoner!!

Time for recaps and forecasts.

Week 8:

Mon/Day 50 - Rest.  Check!


Tue/Day 51 - 4 miles.  Check!  4.01 miles.

Wed/Day 52 - Rest.  Check!

Thu/Day 53 - 6 miles.  Check!  6.01 miles.

Fri/Day 54 - 4 miles.  Nope!  I needed a mental health day. 

Sat/Day 55 - Rest.  Check!

Sun/Day 56 - 14 miles.  Close!  I did 13.49 miles between the two runs.  While I didn't actually hit the wall in the second run, I was feeling my way along it for a good four+ miles and could not imagine squeezing in another 0.5 miles to make my total.

Total mileage for the week:  23.51. 

Week 9:

Mon/Day 57 - Rest.
Tue/Day 58 - 4 miles.
Wed/Day 59 - Rest.
Thu/Day 60 - 7 miles.  Gack!  I should be able to finish this in about 85 minutes; we'll see.
Fri/Day 61 - 4 miles.
Sat/Day 62 - Rest.
Sun/Day 63 - 16 miles.  This will be another split run, with the 15K Shamrock followed by the balance somewhere. 

I need a nap!  And a masseur!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Friday, March 5, 2010

Day 54 and a mental health day

It was so nice not to have to rush off early to bed last night and to sleep in this morning.  Not that I got up any later than I would for any other rest day (not really.... okay, maybe five or ten minutes later), but it just had a different flavor to it.  You know? 

I went back to the running store last night and emerged triumphant! with new shoes.  MUCH better experience this time around, really the kind of experience I've always had with this store (until Monday, at least).  The salesman listened to what I wanted to address with my current running shoes, what I liked and didn't like about the new Brooks, and then he brought out at least four pairs of shoes for me to try.  After the first two pairs, we were able to narrow down what specifically was not working (my feet are so very flat that a strong shank -- what most flat footed runners need -- is very uncomfortable for me) and so he brought out a pair of Nike Lunarglides that I think will be perfect.  He even had me try on one shoe of new New Balance 769s with the Nike Lunarglides to compare them side by side.  When we were doing the official exchange at the register, I thanked the guy for his help about a dozen times. 

What really tipped me off that these were the right shoes?  They are dark grey with neon pink soles.  They basically glow in the dark.  I know, because it was getting dark while I was testing them outside and they were glowing.  So now I am replacing the shoes that looked like I dismembered a muppet to make them with the shoes that look like I've been stepping on muppets.   It's awesome!

Oh, and I also wore them to work today to see how my feet would feel in them, other than in the middle of a run.  So far, so good.

I have a fairly relaxing weekend planned.  At least, a weekend without work.  For Saturday:  sleep in late, replacement ballet tomorrow afternoon, and then nothing nothing nothing.  For Sunday:  run 14 miles, and then nothing nothing nothing.  The nothing nothing nothing will be occupied with sleeping, food, napping, petting puppies, a quick clean to the yucky spot on the carpet, laundry, TV, more napping, and more food.   I can't wait!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 53 and dealing with burnout

Sigh.

Based on Dr. Google, I appear to be suffering from training burnout, overtraining, dehydration, lack of sleep, and onomotopeia.  I may be lying with one of those.  I may also be misspelling with one of those.  And did you know that "misspelling" is one of the most commonly misspelled words?  It's right up there with making people who lisp say "lisp."

Anyhow.

The shoes must definitely go back.  I found out in my run this morning that my arches still feel bruised.  Oh well, either I'll end up with a better pair of shoes that are suited to me, or I'll be buying another pair of 769s.  Works for me.

I do feel burnt out.  I've realized that for the past couple of weeks I'm just not looking forward to my runs anymore.  I'm also running around a minute slower per mile.   It was the longest freakin' six miles this morning EVER.

I'm going to take tomorrow off from training.  Unless I wake up just bursting with joie de vivre.  Joie de tootsies.  You get the idea.  I wish I could take a mental health day from work as well, but sadly, no.  I've already told Le Boss that I'm not working this weekend.  I need to recharge.  I actually thought about quitting marathon training this week.  I'm not going to quit, but having that thought pop up in my head was definitely disturbing.  Because I don't want to quit.  But at that moment, it sounded like a really good idea.  That's when I realized I am burnt out. 

I'm off to return these shoes.  And perhaps beat on a salesman. 

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day 52: Breaking up is hard with shoes.

As you may guess, sadly, the new shoes and I are not meant to run happily ever after.  While the additional motion control was exactly what I need, after five minutes my arches started cramping and felt bruised for the entire run (and still do).  About a mile into it, my calves and glutes started to feel like I'd been running up hills or stairs instead of the obscenely flat indoor track surface.  So I will be exchanging these shoes and starting over again.  Maybe the Mizunos; one reason I didn't go with those is that they felt almost exactly like my current shoes.  I'm thinking that was a mistake.  At least the store has a great return policy, and I will be getting a different salesperson this time. 

I've got to take this weekend off from work, because I am so tired -- mentally and physically -- all the time right now and something has to go so that I can catch my breath.  Work will be it this weekend, as I am going to the replacement ballet performance on Saturday (and now returning my shoes since I'll be downtown anyway) and then running a five mile race Sunday morning followed by an additional nine miles to complete my 14 mile long run.  Also in there will have to be grocery shopping, laundry, and much pooch-pacifying -- they're pretty pissed off that I'm gone all the time these days.  I'd also like to catch up on my DVR'd TV programs and maybe read a little.  Oh, and sleep.  A lot.

I've been toying with setting a goal for Sunday's Red Lizard 5-miler.  This was the second race I did last year (and ever).  My friend S did it with me, and she can't run because of bad knees so we walked nearly all of it.  My finishing time was 1:19:30.   I want to beat that for sure, but I also want to aim for closer to an hour as well.  This is actually a fairly challenging course with plenty of rollers plus one big one.  I believe I will set a goal for this race of 1:10.  This is what I did the Fanconi Anemia 8K in, and that course is much flatter than the Red Lizard course.  Consistency is the key!  Or the hobgoblin of small minds.  Hmmm.  Can't win with this one, can I?

I am also working on the issue of leg cramps overall, new shoes notwithstanding.  The most common causes of leg cramps when running are:  overtraining, dehydration, potassium and/or magnesium deficiency, and poor nutrition.  I don't think it's overtraining or poor nutrition, I think it's a combination of the other three.  With more stress I drink more caffeine and not as much water, so I'm chugging the clear stuff.  I usually have a banana a day during the week but lately that hasn't been happening.  Bananas are now on the agenda.  I've also been slacking off on taking a magnesium supplement in addition to whatever is in my multivitamin (should check that out).  Magnesium is now on the agenda as well.   Once I work out the shoe issue, we'll see if this makes a difference.

Speaking of food and water, it's lunch time!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Day 51: Is "sexual napalm" a compliment or an insult?

I mean, I know that Chicken of the Sea is tuna and not chicken, but this whole "sexual napalm" thing has me confused. 

Hmm.  Anyway.

I did go get some new sneaks last night at Fit Right Northwest.  After having such a great first fitting last year with them, last night was a letdown.  Maybe he was ready to go home for the day, I don't know, but I had to prod him to sell me some new shoes.  At first, he was all, "Well, the wear pattern on your current shoes is perfect, I don't think you need to switch."  And I'm responding that my shoes don't feel supportive enough in long distances.  Back and forth for about 15 minutes, he's telling me that aches are typical for runners (yeah, no shit, but shoes do help with that, genius), he finally checks out my gait and agrees that I do need a more supportive shoe. 

So I ended up with a pair of Brooks something or rathers, which I'll try out tonight.  Tonight, because I didn't get up for the gym AGAIN.  Bah.  I just don't have good reasoning skills at o'dark thirty.  Here's what usually comes up:

It's early.
It's dark too.
I'm tired.
I'm really, really tired.
And my _______ hurts.
I need more sleep.
I can run after work.
I'm really, really, really tired.
And sore.

And then I go back to bed.  When I get up later, I really wish I had gotten up to run because I really don't want to go after work.  Like tonight.  But I also don't want to go tomorrow morning, because that will have me running three mornings in a row. 

Here's what I need to have set in my mind:

It's early.


Yes, it is.  Your point?  That's what I thought.  Now it's later.  GET UP AND GO RUN.
It's dark too.

Again with the not-so-pointy point.  And look on the bright side (ha!) -- it is getting lighter earlier.  You get to see the sunrise!  GET UP AND GO RUN.
I'm tired.

You've been tired since you were seven.  Running will leave you feeling energized, with more energy all day long.  GET UP AND GO RUN.
I'm really, really tired.

You'll sleep when you're dead.  Which will be in exactly two months if you don't keep up with your training.  And you can sleep in on Saturday and maybe even Sunday too!  If you make all your morning workouts this week, that is.  GET UP AND GO RUN.

And my _______ hurts.

Again, what else is new?  Tell me the last time something didn't hurt.  Go ahead, I'll wait.  Yeah, that's what I thought.  Remember that once you're up for a few minutes it stops hurting as much as your muscles wake up for the day.  And hey, if it starts to hurt worse, you can stop.  GET UP AND GO RUN.

I need more sleep.

Probably.  But you can go to bed early tonight.  Yes, it is annoying to be in bed by 9:00 p.m.  It's only for another eight weeks.  And then you'll be dead.  And well-rested.  Looking.  Well-rested looking.  Remember how well-rested Uncle Bill looked?  They even gave him a nice little flannel blankie to lie under.  He looked well-rested.  Although I bet he would've given anything to GET UP AND GO RUN.  And not be dead and all.

I can run after work.

You can.  But you know you don't want to.  Won't want to.  Plus there's a significant risk of a Burger King incident immediately thereafter.  Your arteries are weeping at the very thought.  And remember how much more enjoyable running is when you're still mostly asleep.  It's like a dream.  A torturous running dream.  As opposed to being fully awake for it in the evening.  And exhausted.  Even more so than you are now.  GET UP AND GO RUN.

I'm really, really, really tired.

Blah blah blah.  I'm not even listening to you anymore.  GET UP AND GO RUN.

And sore.

GET UP AND GO RUN.

Yes, the mind of a CilleyGirl is somewhat frightening at o'dark thirty.  I need to get up and go run.

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Monday, March 1, 2010

Day 50 and the Start of Week 8: Two months until Eugene!

And damn, am I tired!

Things are hopping at work, so this may be brief.  Then again, I may get carpal diarrhea (I type really fast).  You never know with the CilleyGirl.

Here's how I did for Week 7:

Mon/Day 43 - Rest.  SUCCESS!  I am talented at the resting, yes I am.

Tue/Day 44 - 4 miles.  SUCCESS!  I ran in the evening (boo), but I did run 4.02 miles (trying to sneak in those tenth miles where I can).

Wed/Day 45 - Rest.  SUCCESS!  A gold medal in resting for moi.

Thu/Day 46 - 6 miles.  SUCCESS!  Again, ran in the evening (double boo) but this was a great run.  6.01 miles in 1:15:00. 

Fri/Day 47 - 4 miles.  SORT OF!  I was tired after running my six the evening before so I missed the morning workout, then went to a birthday party for the Gazelle that evening.  Instead, I got up and ran on....

Sat/Day 48 - Rest.  NOT REALLY!  I got up early to get in the four (4.01, to be specific) I'd missed on Friday.  Since Sunday would be my long run, I made this a slow and easy run. 

Sun/Day 49 - 12 miles.  SUCCESS!  My longest run yet, one that made it oh so obvious that I need new shoes.  12.01 miles in 2:50:07.  Slower than I wanted -- I did 11 miles last Sunday in 2:26:50, so thought I would be closer to 2:40 for the 12 miler.  While it took me about three miles to really get into the rhythm of the run, that's when my feet started to feel every step.  Tonight I'm making a run over to Fit Right Northwest to check into new shoes.  I'm thinking I'd like to get something with more cush for the long runs, but stick with the New Balance 769s for the shorter runs.  I can pick up a pair of those at New Balance's online store for fairly cheap. 

Total mileage for the week:  26.05. 

Get this -- Total mileage for February:  79.21!!!!

I can't believe this is Week 8 and that Eugene is two months away.  Time to make sure those funeral plans are up to date!

Here's what's on the schedule for Week 8:

Mon/Day 50 - Rest.

Tue/Day 51 - 4 miles.
Wed/Day 52 - Rest.
Thu/Day 53 - 6 miles.
Fri/Day 54 - 4 miles.
Sat/Day 55 - Rest.
Sun/Day 56 - 14 miles.

Sunday will be a bit challenging since I am running the Red Lizard 5-Miler -- the race for which I won the entry -- and then will need to do nine more miles after that. 

I also need to try to reschedule the ballet in there.  Fun story:  After running 12 miles I showered and dragged my aching body to the ballet.  I might have skipped it in favor of resting, except that it was A Midsummer Night's Dream, the main reason I got season tickets to the ballet this season.  I love Shakespeare.  Anyhow, there was a short performance of another ballet (the Four Temperments), then intermission, then MidsummerMidsummer is done in four acts.  Right at the beginning of the third act (so, Quartersummer?), they stop the ballet.  Seems the entire city block had lost power, so it wasn't safe for the dancers to continue.  Now if I want to see the rest (and I do), I have to stuff it into my schedule between Thursday and Sunday.  Just checked their schedule and they have a special Saturday matinee where you don't have to sit through the opening ballet. 

And I'm back to work!  I need a vacation day!

Cheers,
the CilleyGirl